Reflection: Supporting Parents Through Their Child's Cancer Diagnosis

Submitted by: Anonymous - Children's Nurse, Paediatric Oncology

What was the nature of the CPD activity and what did you hope to learn from it?

I was present when the consultant delivered the diagnosis of acute lymphoblastic leukaemia to the parents of Oliver (pseudonym), a 4-year-old boy. The parents were devastated—his mum broke down crying, and his dad sat in stunned silence. After the consultant left, I remained with the family to answer questions and provide support.

The parents were overwhelmed with information about treatment protocols, side effects, and what the next few months would look like. They kept asking 'Why our son?' and 'Will he be okay?' I felt the weight of their fear and grief, and I wasn't sure how to provide meaningful support in such a traumatic moment.

Through this experience, I hoped to learn how to support families through devastating news, provide information without overwhelming them, and manage my own emotional response while remaining professionally supportive.

What did you learn from the CPD activity?

I learned that sometimes the most important thing I can do is simply be present. Oliver's parents didn't need me to have all the answers or to make everything better—they needed someone to sit with them in their pain, acknowledge how terrifying this was, and not rush them through their emotions.

I learned to follow the family's lead in terms of information. Rather than repeating everything the consultant had said, I asked 'What questions do you have right now?' and 'What would be most helpful for you to know today?' This helped me provide information at their pace, rather than overwhelming them when they were in shock.

The experience taught me the importance of practical support alongside emotional support. I arranged for the parents to stay overnight with Oliver, brought them tea, and gave them written information they could read later when they were ready. These small acts of kindness mattered.

I also learned about the value of honesty balanced with hope. When Oliver's mum asked if he would be okay, I couldn't promise a cure, but I could honestly say that this type of leukaemia has good treatment outcomes, that he would have an excellent team caring for him, and that we would support the whole family through the journey ahead.

How did you change or improve my practice as a result?

I now approach difficult conversations with families by creating space for their emotions rather than trying to fix or minimise their distress. I've learned to sit with silence, allow tears, and validate their feelings without rushing to the next piece of information.

I've improved my communication by checking understanding and retention. When families receive devastating news, they often can't process information effectively. I now provide key information in small chunks, check what they've understood, and always provide written resources they can refer back to.

I've also developed better self-awareness about my own emotional responses. After supporting Oliver's family, I debriefed with a senior colleague and reflected on how the situation affected me. I now recognise the importance of clinical supervision and peer support when working with families in crisis.

Following this experience, I completed additional training in breaking bad news and supporting families through childhood cancer. I now feel more confident in my ability to provide compassionate, skilled support during the most difficult moments of a family's life.

How is this relevant to the Code?

This reflection demonstrates several aspects of the NMC Code:

Treat people with kindness and compassion (1.1): I provided emotional support to Oliver's family during an extremely distressing time, treating them with sensitivity and empathy.

Communicate clearly (7.1): I adapted my communication to meet the family's needs, providing information at their pace and checking their understanding.

Work in partnership (2.2): I involved Oliver's parents in planning his care from the outset, recognising them as essential partners in his treatment journey.

Maintain knowledge and skills (22.3): I recognised a gap in my confidence around supporting families through bad news and undertook additional training to improve my practice.

Preserve safety (13.5): I recognised the emotional impact of this situation on myself and sought appropriate support through debriefing and supervision.

Do you have any further comments?

Oliver responded well to treatment and is now in remission. His parents later told me that having someone stay with them after the diagnosis, acknowledge their fear, and provide practical support made a significant difference during the worst day of their lives.

This experience has shaped my understanding of what it means to be a children's nurse. Our role extends far beyond clinical care—we support whole families through some of the most challenging experiences they will ever face. Being present, compassionate, and honest during these moments is just as important as any technical skill.

I've learned that it's okay to not have all the answers, to acknowledge uncertainty, and to simply be human alongside families in their pain. This authenticity and compassion is what families remember and what makes a real difference.